Faerie tales are full of helpful creatures. Leprechauns make shoes, kobolds show miners the way to deposits of ore, wichtlein warn of mine collapses, pixies threst corn, brownies clean, the fenoderee will shepard a flock of animals and a killmoulis can run a grain mill.
Most of that shit wouldn't do me any good. What would be useful would be some sort of creature that would pop up and give me a massage when my back is sore. That'd be worth a bowl of milk on my doorstep, I tell you. Faeries for the god-damned post-modern age.
Comments (11)
I think the guy you're talking about is named Sergei. He's the masseur at the local health club here and he can turn your spine into liquid. His catch phrase is, "IN OLD COUNTRY, I WAS BRAIN SURGEON!"
It's funny 'cause it's true. And because yelling with a Russian accent is almost always funny.
Posted by Ben | May 1, 2005 1:13 AM
Posted on May 1, 2005 01:13
This is what girlfriends are for. Put down the fables and go back to the bank.
Posted by Marc | May 1, 2005 11:14 AM
Posted on May 1, 2005 11:14
For the most part I would agree with Marc...but get married and see what happens to that masseuse. Then you go back to hoping there is a faerie to respond to milk on the front doorstep.
Posted by Brian | May 1, 2005 3:31 PM
Posted on May 1, 2005 15:31
See, that's the problem - marriage, relationships, they have baggage that go along with them. They involve, you know, the needs and desires of another person.
That's all well and good, but it doesn't do much for easing the kinks out of my back. Faeries, they're like computers - simple "point and click" type of interface, but a whole lot of insanity outside of your ability to see. You leave a bowl of milk on your doorstep, you get your massage and as long as you don't forget that milk you don't get the blue screen of death. It's all good.
Posted by Jason | May 1, 2005 7:50 PM
Posted on May 1, 2005 19:50
Depends on the faerie. The fae are notoriously capricrious. Some of them honor old agreements, some of them respect gifts so long as they come without thanks, and some just take the invitation and destroy the whole bloody house.
Now, if you want a point and click interface, build a servitor. Or...fuck if I know.
You're right. We need post-modern fae. Backrubs, computer repair, car maintenance, DVD cleaning.
...I'm calling that idea for a book!
Posted by Bard | May 1, 2005 8:13 PM
Posted on May 1, 2005 20:13
Dammit! I was just thinking of how it would fit into a story!
But I've stolen my share of ideas from you, so I guess it's all good...
^_^
Posted by Jason | May 1, 2005 9:19 PM
Posted on May 1, 2005 21:19
I'm recalling something that Bendis said yesterday, about how one time he was hanging out with Rucka and some other writer, and Rucka said something. And there was a silence. And then Rucka literally called the idea with "Mine!".
Posted by Bard | May 2, 2005 10:26 AM
Posted on May 2, 2005 10:26
Doesn't surprise me. I swear, comic writers are damned incestuous.
Doesn't much matter, though - you and I would likely end up doing two very different things with an idea like that, anyway.
Posted by Jason | May 2, 2005 4:48 PM
Posted on May 2, 2005 16:48
...wait a second!
What ideas have you stolen from me? ::blinks::
Thief! ::fumbles around in his bag:: I know I left that noose lying around here somewhere!
Posted by Bard | May 3, 2005 12:30 AM
Posted on May 3, 2005 00:30
At the moment, the only thing I can think I've that I've flat-out stolen was your Doc Sampson idea, though "stole" is a bit of a misnomer, there, since you pretty much bestowed it upon me with your blessing.
I'm sure there are other things, though I cannot now think of them.
Posted by Jason | May 3, 2005 4:30 PM
Posted on May 3, 2005 16:30
Heh. Yeah. I remember that idea.
Yeah, that was me suggesitng an idea to you, not stealing.
All's cool.
Posted by Bard | May 3, 2005 5:34 PM
Posted on May 3, 2005 17:34