Bleeding Fiction

I found out how it works. The regular liscenses are issued for people over 21, and the new vertical liscenses are for people under 21. It's supposed to make the whole not letting underage people drink thing easier.

Freak... why are you looking to get an underage driver's license? They do that here in MA too.

Incidentally, congrats on the final transition.

Thanks, Lukas; had independent confirmation of that tonight, too, before I got your post. Still doesn't explain why the woman said "I don't know what you mean" when I asked. I dunno, maybe she didn't understand the word "vertical."

As for the why's and wherefores, Marc, I mostly just think they look cool. I dunno why, but I prefer vertical cards to horizontals; when I was at InterSlice and they were redesigning the business cards I kept lobbying for verticals, too.

Thanks, by the by, on your congrats. The irony, of course, is that there's only another year that I'm obligated to be a resident. While I may stay after that (and would certainly like to stay, at least for a while), it's pretty much equally likely that I'll end up somewhere else and have to go through this process all over again. It'll probably take me a year, then, too.

We have two sets of DMVs here in Missouri too. Branch Offices and Fee Offices. The only real difference is that you have to go to a Branch Office to take a driving test. Oh, and the fact that there are only like 6 Branch Offices in the state so you're in line behind people from out in the sticks who have never driven anything that takes unleaded gas and they smell bad.

Hi Jason,

I am glad that your DMV excursion turned out to be more pleasant than the usual nuisance those places are! I have never had the uplifting experience of going to a DMV that did not make me want to weep with frustration at being unable to escape the idiocy...

When I was an undergraduate in Mississippi, I went to the DMV to get a Mississippi driver's license and registration. I waited in line for hours (even though there were only four people ahead of me) in this dirty, dank, cinder-block room. Finally, I had the chance to present my request to an incredibly fat and surly woman, who after glancing at my New Hampshire documentation (including my birth certificate) dismissed me with irritable wave while saying, "Sorry Hun. We don't give licenses and tags to foreigners". (What she said was closer to "fawhr-ner", by the way...) I was absolutely flabbergasted by this, not to mention furious at having waited for hours to be rudely dismissed as a non-American by a complete imbecile, and after a moment, we launched into a heated argument about whether New Hampshire was a part of the United States or not. She refused to believe me, and told me to get lost or she would have me removed!! Then, much to my relief, a trooper came in to find out what the ruckus was about, and he confirmed that New Hampshire was indeed a part of the USA, telling her, "You idiot, it's one of them Yankee states." Whatever... At least I had my license.

The final blow was that the digital camera that they were using that day did not work so well and was having color issues, so in the photograph I ended up having hair that was a brilliant blue-green color. But the sullen woman couldn't be bothered to try to do anything about it, and I was so anxious to get out of there that I just accepted it and had a particularly weird image on my license for years...

Congratulations on your new status as a Washingtonian! Enjoy your new sense of belonging! :)

- Sarah K

I don't know how to respond to that, Sarah... I mean, on the one hand it's totally crappy that that actually happened to you. On the other hand, that's easily one of the most awesomest stories I've ever heard. I really don't know why I love poking fun at the South so much, but I do. ^_^

Oh, and thanks, too.

Now, I find the South as entertaining and perplexing as the next person, but in the interests of balance, I must admit that I've had some trouble convincing people from Minnesota and Washington DC that New Mexico is part of the United States. "It's right between Texas and Arizona, you dolts." "There's nothing in between Texas and Arizona!" "Yes, I know. And it's called New Mexico."

To be fair, none of them were denying me service based on my foreign citizenship. And I can honestly say that I have never been complemented on my command of the English language more often than during that week.