Bleeding Fiction

Found out today that I did really and truly fail this past Friday's Japanese test. I was, in fact, not hallucinating. This does not, strictly speaking, preclude my getting a 2.7 in the class (the minimum I need to get credit for it), but it sure doesn't make the outlook good.

Right now I'm staring down two options. I either retreat back to 2nd-year Japanese for the remainder of the year and hope that I can survive the 3rd-year intensive course this summer or I switch tracks altogether and start taking courses in the Evans School and get a Masters in Public Affairs, which I could also most likely finish by the end of this summer. Of course, I'd have to apply to the Evans School, and there's no guarantee I'd get in.

So it's a gamble, either way I go. No matter which I choose, I may be shooting myself in the foot.

On the up-side, I don't have to decide until early-to-mid-December.

To add to the irony, though, I got an email back from the guv'ment about this thing I'd applied for, the Presidential Management Fellowship. It's sort of an accelerated Feberal job placement program. I've cleared the first round of screening and they're now going to look my application over. That's cool, but my admission into the program is, of course, contingent on me getting my degree this spring. D'oh!

Is it squicky for a 27 year old guy to date a girl who's 21 19?

I'm just, you know, curious.

So, I've got a date tomorrow. Nominally, that's a good thing. Only, you know, I haven't been on an actual date in upwards of five years. (Ironic, since I've basically been in two relationships in that time.) So I've got no clue what to do, where to go, etc.

So, please help! What do people actually do on dates? Where can we head that's more exciting than food? I need to call this girl sometime tonight to finalize the details, so the sooner the better.

(For the record, we're going out tomorrow afternoon, prior to the lady's going to work. That may limit our options some.)

So I saw the new Zorro movie about a week ago. The last Zorro movie had sword fights and derring-do. Those who know me should know that I like to swash a few buckles every now and then, so you should understand the appeal the movie held for me. One could argue that, in many ways, that was a movie made with someone of my sensibilities in mind.

The sequel, well, it wasn't bad per se, but I was no longer the movie's target demographic. There were swords in this movie, oh yes, but no one was actually ever slashed or stabbed with them. While I'm not an expert on fencing, I'm pretty sure that's missing the... well, the point of swords. Also, this movie had a child. While I clearly find children at turns cute, adorable and endearing, I'm not such a huge fan of them interrupting my swashbuckling romps, particularly when they outsmart Zorro, the character who the movie is named for.

It's not that I'm criticizing the movie; it's just that it wasn't really for me. It was for young boys and the parents of those boys. Unfortunately, I don't really think it's going to appeal to either of those groups, either. Oh well. Both sides still have the Princess Bride, and who needs anything more?

(What, did you expect me to talk about something else today?)

From wikipedia, a list of fictional monkeys

The second project in my Japanese class was to send an email to our teacher using typed Japanese. The most difficult part was getting my computer to actually type in Japanese. For your pleasure, I excerpt some of the email, and then translate it into English:

昨日の授業は、期末試験を受けるために、来られませんでした。私は暴走族にバットで叩かれたんです。体が痛いすぎるので、病院に行かなければらいませんでした。でも、今、なおるようになりました。

I was unable to come to yesterday's class and take the final exam. This is because I was beaten repeatedly by a biker gang who were using baseball bats. Since my body was in an excessive amount of pain, I had to go to the hospital. However, now I've gotten better.

My life has once again turned into an 80's movie. This time it's Pretty in Pink. I'm Andrew McCarthy.

I want to eat good Italian food.

Quickly! Send chefs!

I don't believe in Karma. At least, I don't believe in the sort of Hindu, Westernized version of the word, where being, say, a raper-of-puppies in a past life will come back to haunt you in this one, by you being reincarnated as a dog or something. In other words, while I believe that my actions have consequences, I don't much believe in principles of cosmic vengeance. But, sometimes, that leads me to the conclusion that the universe at large just delights in seeing me suffer.

Here's a story:

A guy meets a girl. The girl's witty, she's cute and the guy thinks, "what the hell? Why not?" and he asks her out. They're both nervous, but the date goes well; every topic that comes up, they've got plenty in common, but enough that's different to learn about, to talk. Repeat the process the next day, and on into the next morning and the one after that. Things are going amazingly well, surprisingly quickly. The guy and the girl are both very happy.

At which point one of the girl's friends, sparked to action by the girl's constantly talking about how wonderful the guy is, declares his undying love for her. The girl bites her lip; she doesn't know what to do. Because she's kind, because she's honest, because things are going well, she tells the guy. The guy wants to explode, but he doesn't want to lose the girl. So he talks to her about it; tells her its her decision, but that he would prefer she stuck with him. He resolves to keep showing her a good time, to keep her thinking about why things went so well with them to begin with.

It doesn't work. A little bit later, the girl turns to the guy and says "so," and that's pretty much the end of it. The guy says a few things, but mostly he just leaves; after all, you can't rationalize someone into loving you.

The End

I can deal with casual cruelty. I'm not bothered by the existence of sharks or bad things happening to good people or what-have-you. It's just that, sometimes, the things that happen to me are a little hard to believe, a little too complex, a little too pre-scripted. I meet a girl and things are going amazingly well? Well, of course she has a friend who's been carrying a torch for her. I'm trapped in a work of fiction, and the writer has it in for me.

So, because I'm stubborn, because I'm sometimes a jerk and because I really have absorbed entirely too many 80's movies I've been worrying at the little scab on my heart and realized why, aside from rejection issues in general, this particular situation bothers me so much. So, I decided to talk to the young lady (no longer) in question about it today after class.

"The thing that bothers me about this," I said, "is that you're into me. I mean, you're really into me." I then proceeded, rapid-fire, to list the ways that she's into me, the things she's said and done to show that she's into me. It was a big list.

Also, I smiled, or rather smirked, the whole time. I looked very much like Josh Lyman, only with more hair and not in a suit.

"You're right," she said. "But, even if I'm into you, it's... well, it's like when something's perfect on paper, and it should work. But, there's just something that's missing, too, and it's not missing with the other guy."

"Sure," says I, "but you're still totally into me."

That, however, was pretty much the end of that. I wished her the best of luck, but let her know that, while she might like us to be friends that was just not in the cards and, it sucked, but I wasn't going to be talking to her anymore; she's a decent girl and understands why this has to be the case. And there it ends.

But, yeah, she's totally into me. I don't know if that makes me more or less annoyed.

Feh. Best not to dwell on it; send women!

I just saw John Hodgman interviewed on the Daily Show. He was very funny, in a sort of understated way, and was hawking his book. If he was funny, I think maybe his book will be funny. I think maybe it would be funny to hear him speak tonight (Thursday).

But I've never heard of the guy before and can't seem to find anything exciting about him on the intarweb, so I just don't know.

So, please, enlighten me. Tell me of this man called John.

This past week's kept pretty nicely in theme with the rest of the month of November and been mostly about relationships. Not mine (and, given my mid-month problems in that department, that's probably a good thing). No, this was a week about other people's relationships. That said, my friend's relationships are mostly not something that it's my place to discuss on my blog, so this is just a place-holder, a bit of digital string tied around a virtual finger to remind my future self, when I read back on this entry later, that this past week So-And-So started dating, Someone's new guy may be crazy and Another Person got turned down in a most uncool way.

That said, there is one relationship I'm cool talking about, at least a little: Aaron and Jen's. Why am I cool talking about it? Because they got married a week ago today, and that's all public and whatnot to begin with. Plus it's just awesome, and I was thrilled that I got to be there for it.

Best part of the wedding? Well, no offense to Aaron and Jen, but I think it was the shrimp wrapped in bacon served during the cocktail hour. Serving something like that just takes a very special kind of class.

Also, because I had to hit the Right Coast for said wedding, I got to be with my family on Thanksgiving. There are some things in life that, years gone by, are colored by the weight of nostalgia. They're things that, if you ever get back to them, are better in memory than in reality. I'm happy to report that Thanksgiving dinner with my family isn't like that. It was every bit as great as I remember it being, and I would only complain that it was just too short. I really do love Thanksgiving.

Back on the Left Coast, now, and spent today getting reaquainted with my bed, my bookshelves, my tv and my local grocery store. Tomorrow I'm back to something resembling normal.

As I briefly related in the comments section of my first John Hodgman thread, I took Eric's advice and did some digging into Hodgman's work on This American Life. There are now things you must do.

First, go here and, at 31 minutes into the real audio file, listen to Hodgman talk about his relationship with Bruce Campbell. Then, go here and, at a bit over 45 minutes in, listen to Hodgman talk about his script for the Phantom Menace and things related to that.

The stuff on the Little Grey Books site is keen, but a bit less cool than the American Life stuff - it's got some good bits, but tends to be too rambling, takes too long to go anywhere, to make it really funny for me.

Definitely going to get the book, though.

Despite failing, despite having given up on doing the actual work for now, I'm still going to Japanese class. I feel as if I have something to prove, though I'm not exactly sure what or to whom. I feel really awkward being in class, though. The teacher doesn't call on me anymore, which isn't so bad itself, but the way she pretty obviously skips over me makes me just feel put out.

Then there's the thing with Natalie (erm... The Young Lady No Longer In Question). Walking past her before or after class and not talking to her feels funny; it's a strange thing to cut someone out of your life, especially when you still have to see them every day. By rights, I shouldn't care about this so much; I only knew the girl for a week. But the point I've been making the past week's been that we just clicked; why should it be easy? Still, I'm thinking about it less than I used to. I'm sure I'll be fine by week's end.

In the meanwhile, and in the class I'm actually doing well in, my professor asked me to help him with a new exchange program with UW proposed by a new-style Japanese University. If it goes through, it'd be pretty cool for both schools, as well as me personally, as I'd get to build fun job contacts and resume material.

Anyway, I'm a bit under the weather today; my throat's raw and my teeth feel ill-fitting in my gums. I might've had a fever earlier, but I think it's gone now. I'll turn in early tonight and see what tomorrow brings.