Last night I went out to see Bloodrayne with but the smallest fraction of my usual Friday night movie crew. Wow. It was... Well, "wretched" doesn't even begin to cover it. There were a few parts that were (unintentionally) funny, but for the most part it wasn't even worth laughing at. It wasn't quite the worst movie I've ever seen, but it was as bad as anything that I wouldn't also expect to show up on MST3K.
I am not joking when I warn you against seeing this movie. The good company aside, I really wish that I hadn't seen it myself. The part I regret most of all is that I paid money to see it - that, on some level, I've contributed to its potential non-total failure and that Uwe Boll might get to make more movies. That simply must not be allowed to happen!
Comments (18)
Cabin Boy
Posted by Erik | January 7, 2006 1:52 PM
Posted on January 7, 2006 13:52
Blair Witch Project 2
Posted by Doug | January 7, 2006 4:36 PM
Posted on January 7, 2006 16:36
Fire in the sky
7 years in tibet
Arsnic and Old Lace
Peyton Place
(the last two being forced upon me by various women with promise of extraciricular activities afterward .... to bad the movies sucked so bad that I ended up going out for a beer or somthing)
Posted by Zach | January 7, 2006 5:08 PM
Posted on January 7, 2006 17:08
Van Helsing.
Posted by Bekah | January 8, 2006 5:37 AM
Posted on January 8, 2006 05:37
I liked Van Helsing. It was silly. They totally should have gotten Peter Boyle to be the monster.
Posted by Erik | January 8, 2006 8:35 AM
Posted on January 8, 2006 08:35
Either of Joel Schumacher's Batman movies.
Posted by Ben | January 8, 2006 10:55 AM
Posted on January 8, 2006 10:55
I have seen all the movies listed here except Fire in the Sky and Blair Witch Project 2, and Bloodrayne is far worse than any of them. It makes Van Helsing look like an epic masterpiece.
Posted by Lukas | January 8, 2006 12:43 PM
Posted on January 8, 2006 12:43
At least Van Helsing hat popcorn bats.
Posted by Bekah | January 8, 2006 2:29 PM
Posted on January 8, 2006 14:29
Lukas is pretty spot on; I've seen Cabin Boy, Blair Witch 2, 7 Years in Tibet, Van Helsing and the first Schumacher Batman.
Bloodrayne is worse.
Much worse.
Posted by Jason | January 8, 2006 9:10 PM
Posted on January 8, 2006 21:10
Is it worse than the DnD movie was?
Posted by Bekah | January 9, 2006 5:11 AM
Posted on January 9, 2006 05:11
How about Super Mario Bros.? Superman III? Howard the Duck? The Masters of the Universe movie starring Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and Frank Langella as Skeletor, and they travel across dimensions and only two kids from L.A. can help save the day?
Or, is it possible that the BloodRayne movie is so bad that it can make all of those movies seem good by comparison, thereby breaking down the barriers between good and bad to such a degree that every movie from now on is "average," like Mallrats or the last three Bond films?
Posted by Ben | January 9, 2006 8:07 AM
Posted on January 9, 2006 08:07
It is actually worse to watch than D&D and Masters of the Universe (I could at least make fun of those) and is more poorly made than Super Mario. Superman III was crap, but at least it still had Christopher Reeve. And I actually liked Howard the Duck.
Of course, I don't consider Mallrats an average movie, either. But then I'm biased on that one, since it so accurately reflects large portions of my life...
Posted by Jason | January 9, 2006 3:14 PM
Posted on January 9, 2006 15:14
How DARE someone insult "Howard the Duck"?
Jason, no offense man...but with a trailer THAT bad why in god's name DID you go see "Bloodrayne"?
It looks like a half assed attempt to meld "Van Helsing" and "Brotherhood of the Wolf".
Me...I'm waiting for "Underworld II". Becuase in that one the werewolves actually have fur.
Posted by Bard | January 13, 2006 10:58 AM
Posted on January 13, 2006 10:58
Not to mention Bard Kate Beckinsale is just the hotest thing scince that 5 million dollar cup of coffee
Posted by Zach | January 17, 2006 2:14 AM
Posted on January 17, 2006 02:14
I went to see Bloodrayne because I had some friends who were going. I figured that at least I'd be in good company, I'd be able to make fun of the movie during its run and I'd get some good food after it was over. In the first and last cases, at least, I was right.
I'll see Underworld II, but the first one was godawful. Not as bad as Bloodrayne, but still just rotten. I actually felt I saw too much of Kate Beckinsdale's butt while watching that movie, and that's a really weird experience to have.
Posted by Jason | January 17, 2006 1:22 PM
Posted on January 17, 2006 13:22
Ok I will give you a pass on the "too much of her butt" cause welll quite frankly ever since eyes wide shut nicole has been nothing but a dirty whore in my mind
Posted by Zach | January 17, 2006 4:28 PM
Posted on January 17, 2006 16:28
Uhm... What, exactly, do Nicole Kidman and Kate Beckinsdale have in common? Or is this one of your Zach things that I'm doomed to be confused by? ^_^
Posted by Jason | January 19, 2006 1:16 AM
Posted on January 19, 2006 01:16
Well it just had to do with the fact that before I saw eyes wide shut I was really into nicole kidman then I saw it and well ugh it ruined her for me
Posted by Zach | January 21, 2006 12:35 AM
Posted on January 21, 2006 00:35