Bleeding Fiction

It would've been a year as of today. It should've been.

There would've been a bed & breakfast on the New England coast, and walking, huddled into warm coats, along the shore or in the woods. There would've been a meal cooked together, and wine. There would've been a necklace of silver and aquamarine. There would've been music. And the most wonderful, amazing, perfect thing that had ever happened to me in my life.

Instead there's just me, and Syracuse, and a bottle of vodka and doubt and fear. And a little bit of hope that that wonder might come back.

...and I don't feel any different.

Countdown: 59 days

I discovered today that, if you count amateur productions, I have a Kevin Bacon Number of 3.

I was in Syracuse Live with Riki Lindhome

who was in was in Pulse (2006) with Octavia Spencer

who was in Beauty Shop (2005) with Kevin Bacon.

How weird is that?

This question came around 'cause I saw Riki on a Domino's commercial a few times this weekend.

Countdown: 58 days

Talking with one of my co-workers yesterday, I realized I've got a lot of stuff that I just don't want. Books, especially. I haven't read maybe half of what I've got, and half the ones I have I'll probably never read again. But I've been lugging this crap back and forth across the country, and if something doesn't change, I'll probably just do it again.

What's the point? Why the hell do I have all this stuff?

It's just habit, I think. Historical momentum. Gravity. I've had some of these books since I was in high school, and I just keep getting more, never getting rid of any. But I've been feeling like it's really starting to chain me down - They're dead-weight that I don't need.

So I decided to do something about it. Today, I pored over my shelves. I tried to take a realistic look at things and get rid of any book that I could honestly say I'll never read, or book I've read that I'll probably never read again. I probably could've been harsher than I was, but in the end I've got 112 books ready for sale to the local used book store.

20 DVDs, too.

It's not all my stuff, by any stretch of the imagination, but that's ok. I don't mind keeping the stuff I'll use. I just want to cut out the dead weight, the stuff that's holding me down. I think this is a pretty good step in that direction.

Countdown: 57 days

My employer got a new vision plan with the new year, and I signed up 'cause why the hell not? I took the opportunity to do something I'd been thinking about for a little while now, and on Thursday I got contacts.

Now, poking myself in the eye twice a day isn't exactly a thrill, but I've just been getting tired of my glasses. They feel too big, they reflect the light too much and I just don't, honestly, much like the way I look in them. So, seeing as I can't afford laser eye surgery, contacts was the way to go.

Let me say that putting them in is a monumental pain in the ass. I've seen a few people put in and take out their contacts regularly, and they make it seem really easy. Sure; they have tons of practice, the bastards. I'm still learning, so it's getting easier with time, but it's still tough.

Also, I feel a little dizzy wearing them. I'm not sure if it's the usual "new glasses dizziness" or if it's something else; we'll see what the next few days bring, but in the meanwhile my vision's a little blurry. I mean, it's sharper than without lenses, sure, but not quite as sharp as with my glasses. It feels... Ok, it feels like the contacts work fine but also that I'm looking at the world from underwater. I'm thinking I might be doing something wrong - using too much contact fluid or putting them in backwards or something. We'll see what the next few days bring...

Countdown: 55 days

Just in case anyone still doubts that global warming is a reality, I've got a few facts for you. Syracuse, NY is the 4th snowiest city in the continental US, with an average January snowfall of 30.3 inches. January, by the by, is traditionally Syracuse's snowiest month; the normal average temperature is 22.7 degrees.

Today's high? 70 degrees.

I didn't wear a jacket today. At all.

Jesus Christ. I mean... Jesus Christ!

Countdown: 52 days

I don't think of myself as a superstitious person. This, despite Erik once keeping a list of my Geasa. I play games, mostly; hold taboos for kicks and whimsy and then talk about them as if they're real. I pick up my feet going over railroad tracks to keep bad luck away, touch the roof of a car three times going through a yellow light to add three seconds of great sex to my life, never choose my own fortune cookie just in case. These are games, and I don't believe in magic.

But I know all about it. I know about contagion, taking on an object's properties by taking it into yourself. Eat your enemy's heart to gain his strength, drink mercury to live forever. I know about sympathy, suggesting the change you want to make in the world by mirroring it in ritual. Stab the doll, which looks like a person, to cause that person pain.

I don't believe in magic but, sometimes, a little bit of home sorcery is the easiest thing in the world. Especially when you abandon the traditional trappings. A strand of hair? A drop of blood? A pinch of soil? Old-fashioned, out-dated nonsense. But an alumni t-shirt? A cup of Starbucks coffee?

That's sympathy and contagion for the post-modern age.

Countdown: 51 days

Can one of my tech-savvy friends who knows something about OpenSearch/xml coding make me a firefox search plugin for my blog? It'd be extremely convenient for me to have.

Please and thank you.

Countdown: 50 days

It occurs to me that I know several people who work in that there "Hollywood" place, and a few of them have written things every now and then. Do I know anyone who's presently striking with the WGA? Can anyone tell me?

Just curious.

Countdown: 37 days

I have neighbors living in the apartment next door to mine, two college guys. One of them is dating a girl, who he brings over his place a lot. While they're there, they do the sort of things that dating couples often do. I know this because I can sometimes feel the walls shaking a little. Now, I'm no stranger to neighbors having sex. This time, though, it's a little less annoying than it is just... weird.

Normally, I can hear my neighbors. I hear them walking up or down the stairs, I hear their band playing (they only know two songs...), I hear their TV if they're watching an action movie. Except for the band thing it's never intrusive - it's just background noise - but I can still hear them.

I can't hear them having sex. Now, I'm happy about that; very happy. But if it's weird, 'cause I should be able to hear them. Unless they're having very quiet sex. I mean, no grunting, moaning, screaming. Nothing. Quiet.

Here's the other thing: almost as soon as I notice the shaking, it's done. I mean, it's like "ah, there's the walls... three... two... one... done."

I hope they're enjoying themselves, but as far as I can figure out, my neighbors are just... bad at having sex. Not even a squeak of noise from guy or girl, and no staying power past 30 seconds, a minute tops. I guess everyone has their preferences, and I don't want to judge, but... uhm... it almost seems a little sad.

Countdown: 34 days

Many ebullient congratulations to Sarah (Who Is Awesome) on successfully acquiring a swank job over in New Hampshire, her wonderful natal state.

The center of the triangle made by Boston, Concord and Portland is not a bad place to be.

Congrats again, Sarah. As always, you're Awesome.

Countdown: 31 days

It's a little chill today, and I sort of had a hankering for some hot chocolate. No problem; I have milk in the fridge and a jar of Swiss Miss mix in my cabinet. Only...

NOOOOOOOO!

I tossed the jar of mix before I moved out of Seattle. Shit!

But... wait! There's a smaller jar of Hershey's chocolate mix in the cabinet. I bought it for... baking something, I think. I dunno; Marie bought it. It's unsweetened, but it's still chocolate mix, so it should be good, right?

NOOOOOOOO!

It wasn't sweet, no, but it didn't even taste chocolatey. It was like drinking warm, grey milk. I dumped it down the drain after two sips.

Maybe tomorrow...

Countdown: 29 days