Bleeding Fiction

Allow me to share with you a little bit of my childhood. There exists a website named "Yo Joe". It is, as you may suspect, all about G.I. Joe. Specifically, it has extensive details about G.I. Joe action figures.

My childhood nostalgia is pretty big; at times, it reaches elephantine proportions. However, pictures of G.I. Joe action figures are not enough to make me experience any sort of geek contact-high. What does drive me into convulsions, though, is the extensive collection of filecards. These are the little cards that came on the back of the packaging for every Joe and Cobra figure released. Part of what makes the cards so great, part of what makes Joe figures so much cooler than green plastic army men is the personality and detail that each card lent to the figures. Characters are proficient in named martial arts styles and with specific weapons. Each member of the team has his specific role to play and Serpentor was cloned to have "the fiscal accumen of Attila the Hun." I'm willing to believe that, since Attila's fiscal accumen seemed mainly limited to killing people and taking their stuff. Or taking their stuff in exchange for not killing them. And then occasionally killing them anyway. And that's exactly the sort of shit Serpentor was good at.

The cards have put me on the road to a somewhat false nostalgia, for the G.I. Joe comic book. It was published by Marvel and lasted one-hundred fifty five issues. I've read a few of them, here and there, but never a lot. I sort of wish I had, though, since the stories always seemed so interesting and involved. Of course, now I can read them all, thanks to the fine folks at Marvel. Or I could just read the extensive summaries here

The fine folks at Best Buy delivered my TV this evening. I'd been without for so long I almost forgot what it was like to have a TV. On some level, I was probably better off without it.

The thing with my TV is that it's heavy. Most TVs are. But I don't have to list most TVs and carry them around by myself. This one I had to get onto the TV stand. I could've asked one of the neighbors to help me, but I felt a little odd about my first introduction to the neighbors being to ask them for the favor of manual labor. (Yes, I have been here for a week and not met my neighbors yet. What am I supposed to say when I introduce myself? "Why don't you come over some time and sit on my floor"?) Still, I managed to get the thing set up in time to watch Teen Titans and Justice League, which is good.

Two other things caught my eye while I was watching the tube today, though. First, the Jeopardy Championship finals. One of the Double Jeopardy categories was "Blogs." I realize that Jeopardy deals with entertainment and pop culture as often as it does the hard-core academia, but... well... wow. I guess I tend to think of the internet as something exclusively limited to the internet; I don't really view it as having an impact on the rest of the world. This is clearly inaccurate on a lot of levels, and my own life should be enough to show me that, but it's still something I've got to learn again every time.

The second thing I saw was a news report about Mt. St. Helen's. It might blow again, sometime soon, worse than the virtually-non-existant last time. Still nothing for those of us in Seattle to worry about, but interesting nonetheless. No one else seems interested, which isn't much of a surprise. It's really not that exciting. But for me, the whole "nearby disaster" thing is still new. Volcano's, earthquakes... Things are much more stable back on the east coast.

I don't know why, but I kept the tv on after I watched Smallville tonight. (And I just realized, with a slightly sinking feeling, that I forgot to watch the West Wing. Which I guess goes to show you how I've been feeling about the West Wing lately. Which is kind of sad considering I've watched the first five episodes of season one in the past two days.) The show I ended up watching was Jack & Bobby.

It's not great, but it's pretty clever.

You get the basic premise from the comercials: Two brothers, older one Jack and younger one Bobby (named after two American brothers of some small fame...) grow up together under the care of their single, college Professor mother in a small town in modern-day New England. Around 2040 one of the brothers, and we don't know which, will be the next great American President.

The narrative is fairly typical for its type, happily focusing a little bit more on the relationship between the two brothers than the stereotypical teen drama, but it's interspersed with brief stories of White House staff from the future telling stories about "President McAllister" and his family, mostly as the bumpers coming out of or going into a comercial break.

Like I said, it's not great. The writing and the acting could each be better, the production of the show is nothing marvelous and, in the end, I think it's still a teen drama without the special punch that, say, Gilmore Girls has to make it more than that.

But it's still pretty clever.

Anyone else out there seen this thing?

Mr. Rotskoff, I'm mostly looking at you, here.

Did I just watch Smallville jump the shark?

Has anyone else seen the Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi show yet? The show based on the Japanese musical duo of similar name? (In Japan they're simply called Puffy.) Am I the only one who thinks it's delightfully psychedelic? Does it remind anyone else of various shorts from the 70's? Is it just me, or are the girls voiced by the same actresses who do Raven and Starfire on Teen Titans?

Is anyone else as impressed as I am that their music sometimes transcends typical JPop to become actually serious rock?

Oh, and am I the only one who thinks that Ami and Yumi are totally cute? When they're not dressed in retro-80's gear, that is?

It's sometimes a danger to have as large a music collection as I do, especially when you combine that with a five-disc CD changer. I bought a Phish album, Billy Breathes, the other day. Today I put it in the CD player along with a few other CDs, ones I'd owned for a while but hadn't listened to recently. Billy Breathes came on, but I thought it was something else. "Damn," said I, "this is really good. Why don't I listen to this more?" It was about fifteen minutes before I realized that I don't listen to it more because I'd never owned it before yesterday.

My drive comes as a result of my new desk. It's remarkable how much energy one suddenly has for getting things done when one can sit upright and spread papers around a flat surface rather than reclining all the time. The weekend was a little busy with finishing a fellowship application, going to Best Buy, getting my internet to work (sadly a temporary state of affairs - I'm back to pirating, for now) and a few other things, but even still I managed to write four fables (so far) and re-read most of Fire and Jade so I can get back to the second draft. I haven't touched that manuscript since around May and I'm happy to report that it's not as bad as I remember it being.

Now, I'm bound by a rule to not frolic like a school girl. I extend that to giggling like a school girl, squealing with delight like a school girl or doing anything else that a school girl may do in her own fashion. If there's anything that could've made me come close, though, it was these first two episodes of the new Ah! My Goddess series. Bless you, Ben, for pointing it out to me. It's expanded from the OVA (more like the manga? Not really from what I remember, but that was years ago.) and comfortingly familiar. Many of the voice actors are even the same. Neat!

I don't know how many folks out there are still watching Smallville, but there was a new episode on tonight (was there a new episode of Gilmore Girls on last night? I didn't see any ads... I hope to hell I didn't miss one). Lana's thinking about having sex with her semi-ex-boyfriend. Lana's a virgin, though, so she went to talk to Chloe about it.

The dialogue is stupid, pithy and largely unbelievable, to the extent that Chloe makes an "I hate to go all after school special on you" crack (and they put a "sex is a serious issue" blurb at the end of the episode). I was in the midst of rolling my eyes in disdain when Chloe revealed that she had a bit of a fling over the summer, during her internship at the Daily Planet. His name was Jimmy. And he was cute in a sort of "wears a bowtie" way.

Jimmy Olsen.

Chloe screwed Jimmy Olsen!

I'm both very repulsed and thoroughly amused. I think shit like that is the only reason I still watch Smallville.

Last night I dreamed that I was dating Kim Possible who is, you know, a cartoon. I'm just...

I...

I can't even bring myself to comment on all of the ways that's screwed up.

I went over to The Delightful Jeni Garber's place this evening, which is cool 'cause Jeni is not long for this world. If by "this world" I meant "Seattle." She's moving back to NYC and more power to her, as it's very much where she belongs.

Anyway, we stayed in and watched a little bit of Freaks and Geeks on DVD, which I'd never seen before but had heard many wonderful things about. I can't remember who I heard these wonderful things from, so I'll just assume it was Ogre. When I can't remember who recommended something to me, it usually turns out to be Ogre. Though it might have been Mr. Proctor. Anyway, the show did not disappoint. It was funny right out of the gate and continued to be funny through everything I saw. It's a well-written, witty, very well-acted and non-WB-style funny drama. I want to see the rest of it. I might have to buy it on DVD, eventually.

Jeni says Freaks and Geeks pretty much defines her life in high school. She says she was the main character. Fair enough. I didn't know Jeni so well back then, so I'll just take her word for it. Her saying that puts me in mind of the show that defines my life in high school, though: Parker Lewis Can't Lose. When the hell is that coming out on DVD? And what about Daria? That would be cool to see on DVD, too.

I'd like someone to explain to me why no one has released the entire run of Daria on DVD yet. I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Daria was way cool.

Well, this is interesting, isn't it? I got it from the PPG Doujinshi. The best I can do on a translation is "It came out! Powerpuff Girls Z" I assume there's some other translation for "demashitaa," though, 'cause that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

Thar Intarweb doesn't want to show me anything else about this, though, so I can't give it any sort of context. Anyone know anything more than I do?

(Subtitled: I Am STILL Such a Geek)

I just watched the Kim Possible movie So The Drama. (We use the word movie loosely here, since it ain't exactly a theatrical release or anything.) It was... Well, to steal a line from the world of Kim Possible, it was spankin'.

They bumped up the frame rate and used some cg, so it looked great (including opening sequence done in Jame's Bond silhouette-style), but it's the content that really gets me. Most of the action revolves, as usual, around Kim & Ron's daily life, interspersed with the schemes and plots of evil villains Dr. Drakken and his hench-woman Shego.

Drakken's in rare form. He's got a cadre of ninjas with laser swords and a legion of advanced humanoid syntho-drones and he plays his master plan close to his chest. He actually seems like a credible threat. But without losing his characteristic goofiness - his poor attempts to be hip, his pathetic self-doubt, his inability to remember Ron's name.

The little villain touches are nice (he actually says "You've failed me for the last time, Shego!"), too, but the best is when Shego's trying her hardest to figure out Drakken's evil plot. He refuses to tell and explains that it's because Kim is no smarter than she is; if Shego hasn't figured it out yet, Drakken knows that Kim hasn't, either. See? Credible threat! (And I'll admit that until that scene I hadn't figured out Drakken's exact plot, either.)

As for the personal stuff, it starts with Kim worrying that she'll have to go to the prom with Ron; he's the not-boyfriend, which Kim finds awkward given that everyone else she knows is dating someone. That's when the new guy shows up, and you cue the usual run of drama and self-discovery. (Shorthand for the media impaired: Kim & new guy start dating and Ron's pushed to the side, thereby growing jealous and realizing that he's in love with Kim. It's good that they don't ignore show continuity here; Ron brings up Kim's previous boyfriend and how he wasn't jealous of him.) It says something about me that I found the entire sequence here absolutely heartbreaking.

The movie ends pretty much as you'd expect it to - Drakken's plot is foiled, Kim & Ron finally get together (with an actual kiss - sort of risque for the Disney Channel, no?). A very sweet and happy ending for both the movie and the series.

I might buy it on DVD, if I could get a boxed set of the whole series to go along with it, but I want to at least see it - it's got a few extra scenes and a never-aired episode on it, too, involving the return of the Japanese ninja high school that Ron spent a week at one episode. This also means the return of my favorite Kim Possible villain, Lord Monkey Fist, as well as cool ninja chick, Yuri, voiced by Keiko Agena who, of course, plays Lane on Gilmore Girls!

Oh! Oh! And Kim swaps her usual khaki mission-getup for a skin-tight, self-repairing, force-field-generating, energy-projecting super-suit. Which is so cool!

Ok, I'm done geeking out now. Well, for now...

I'm not long on the commentary for this one. I'll simply say that even though not all of my DVD demands are met, many of my demands are met before I can even concieve of them. Observe:

Pete & Pete

Clarissa

Deep in my heart of hearts I have long known that no matter how bizarre and fucked up Reality TV gets here in the US, the Japanese will undoubtedly find a way to top it. I now have my proof that this is true.

I would summarize, but you really do have to read this to understand the full impact.

Note for Lukas: Remind you of anything in particular?

I inexplicably forgot to tape Smallville last night. Can anyone give me (or point me to) a synopsis of it, please?

I'm vaguely put out by the way Firefly fans refer to themselves as "Browncoats."

It always (and unavoidably) makes me think, and not pleasantly, of "brownshirts."

Fraggle Rock's just great. I love almost everything about it. I wish there were a Fraggle Rock soundtrack, because I could listen to a lot of those songs for a good long while, too.

I'm noticing one or two things that I hadn't noticed before, too. For example, Gobo, the leader of the Fraggle gang, is Canadian. At least if if we're judging by his accent.

Also, the Fraggles exist in the same universe as some iteration of the Muppet Show cast; at one point, Doc gets a letter from Kermit.

It's a bit kiddy, maybe, but I kind of want a plush Gobo now.

Has anyone besides me been watching the Colbert Report over the past two nights? Colbert's intensity and arrogance is a pretty fun contrast to John Stewart's depreciation and incomprehension, which has been true since his days on the Daily Show. I'm not entirely sure how long that'll stay interesting in full half hour blocks, but so far, so good.

Monday night's "gravitas face-off" against Stone Phillips alone made the entire half hour worthwhile. "In the interest of full disclosure," said Phillips, "this reporter should admit that he also has a piercing there." Tonight, I was a big fan of the opening segments - The Word and All You Need To Know.

As with the Daily Show, the interviews come in two types: the live-to-tape studio interviews and the edited location interviews with people who just don't get it. The live-to-tape are coming off a little flat right now - Colbert's using them as a platform for being intense and not much more - but that might level out in time. The location interviews are very much like the ones on the Daily Show. No surprise there. I like them well enough, but I think they've always been the weakest part of the Daily Show, so seeing more of those isn't exactly my first choice. I'd like to see something replace them; maybe a second guest segment like they did with Stone Phillips. Though I guess that wouldn't work well with every guest...

Finally, I've got to admit that I'm not a huge fan of the plugs for Colbert at the end of the Daily Show. It makes the Daily Show seem shorter and more rushed, which is not a good thing. I figure that's to grab viewers early and should go away by the end of next week.

(Speaking of the Daily Show, though - John went really easy on O'Reilly tonight, no? Sort of a let down, I think. Anyone have a take on this?)

If you haven't seen either show recently, you can check out a few clips at their respective web sites. The clips I'm talking about specifically aren't up as of this posting, but they most likely will be by Wednesday evening.

(PS - Can anyone tell me what A. Whitney Brown's been doing lately? Even more than Stephen he was my favorite Daily Show commentator, but I can't remember seeing him in anything in something like half a decade...)

I've let a few things fall by the wayside in the past few weeks, vis a vis blogging, at least. Let me see if I can sum it up quickly:

Dar Williams: I skipped the Dar show on Wednesday. Some of you will now undoubtedly be wondering if I'm feeling alright, and I assure you that I am. It's just that I had a test in Japanese on Thursday and decided that getting my master's degree was more important than seeing Dar. This one time, at least. Plus, by staying home, I got to talk on the phone with Sarah Who Is Awesome. The conversation, as you might expect, was awesome.

November: Speaking of awesome things, my invitation to Aaron and Jen's wedding came in the mail this week. Plus their wedding's just before Thanksgiving, which means I get to be home for that, too.

Smallville: Same problem with Aquaman here as in Super Friends: they had to invent a water-based problem for him to have a reason to be around. Also, sufer style was never cool. Not even in the 80's, when people thought it was. Also also, while I'm not a huge fan of Tom Welling's pecs, it probably wasn't the smartest move on the producers' part to film the episode where he goes topless after he'd stopped working out.

Kamikaze Girls: A Japanese biker girl head-butting a Japanese Loli is a universally funny image. When it shows up repeatedly in a movie that's cute, funny, bizarre and, at turns, heart-warming, you're pretty much set. See this if you can.

Arkham Asylum: One of the classic Batman stories, re-released in a normal-sized trade, includes a copy of the script. It has one of the best lines from Batman ever. The rogues have Batman trapped and at their mercy. They're debating what to do with him. "We should take his mask off and get a look at his face," says one. "Don't be obvious," says the Joker as he looks at Batman's grim mask. "That is his face."

Mirrormask: Lukas accurately quotes me as saying that "I have never seen a movie that so fully reflected the tastes of its director." Neil Gaiman, Dave McKean and the Jim Henson's company were locked in a room. This is the movie they made. It's of the "unhappy girl gets sucked into wonderous yet crappy other world" genre. Some reviewers regard this as a bad thing. They are stupid, for this movie is excellent.

I think that pretty much covers the highlights. I need to get better about keeping a schedule, I think. But, then, that's usually the case these days. Pardon, I'm off to give being productive a whirl. Or possibly to watch the Princess Bride. I haven't decided.

It's sad, but it's become as much of a tradition for me to miss the Great Pumpkin as it is for Linus. It was on last night, of course. And I didn't even know until today. One day I'll just but the thing on DVD, but in a lot of ways that seems like it would be missing the point.

Aaaarggh!

This is at once both one of the most awesome things I have ever seen and all sorts of wrong. Check it out.

When actors are in party/crowd scenes, of the sort where they're chit-chatting with each other as the camera pans over them on its way somewhere else, towards something more important to the story, when they're not actually being scripted because no one can really hear what they're saying, do you figure they talk in-character or do you think they chat as, you know, themselves?

Just curious.

If you don't cry when you watch this, then you are a heartless bastard who deserves what's coming to you.

I don't know why I posted it, really.

On the old blog, the outdated one, the blog that is, let's call it passe, I mentioned Snakes On A Plane. It's a movie, opens on Friday, stars Samuel L. Jackson. If you don't know about this movie, you don't spend enough time on the intarweb.

Anyway, here's Jackson's appearance on the Daily Show, to talk about this movie. The man's enthusiasm, his pure love for what he's done? It's infectious.

For years, I've called Scrubs my favorite show that I never watch, and it's true. I love the show, absolutely love it, but for whatever reason I've never ended up watching it regularly. Honestly? I think I've only ever seen maybe three episodes. But even still I love it.

So it's to my infinite joy that Comedy Central has decided to show Scrubs in syndication twice nightly (back-to-back, starting at 7pm), from the start of the series. They're showing it, too, on the station that is the unholy love-child of the WB and UPN; the same episodes, but at 6 and 10. I'm hopelessly addicted.

Here's the premise: Three young doctors are interning at a hospital. Hilarity ensues. Now here's what it's about: being surreal. Take this situation: the main character, J.D., tells a patient that she's got to go on dialysis or else die. She chooses death. Into her room walks a delivery guy, asks J.D. to sign for a ton of bricks. Distracted, J.D. signs. The delivery guy steps back. Bricks fall from the sky and bury J.D. (Follow up joke: "Can I get my pen back?") Then a quick cut and we're back to the conversation.

And if that weren't enough, the whole thing is set up earlier in the show by the delivery guy standing prominently in the background. The show's damn smart, in other words.

Scrubs also treats its music importantly. Early in one episode, two doctors in surgery are arguing over what song to put on while they operate. The song is then either playing in the background or sung by a character at various points throughout the episode.

The whole cast is perfect, but I only want to talk about two people. First up, Zach Braff. The dude wrote, directed, produced and starred in Garden State, which is not only where he's from but also one of my favorite movies. Ever. Dude's riding pretty high on my list of awesomest people in the world. Second, there's Sarah Chalke, who I'm weirded out to know was the second Becky on Rosanne. However, she's adorable and awkward and very, very cute in Scrubs. So that's okay.

Okay, I'm done gushing now.

Except for one thing: sound effects. When someone turns quickly, or when someone checks their watch, there's a noise not unlike the snap of a whip. Though I'm doubtful, I hope that you understand the produndity of the next thing I type: It's just like Parker Lewis Can't Lose. 'Nuff said.

A funny thing happens to me around finals every quarter: I watch the West Wing.

I started up with Season 1 about a week ago, barreling through episodes here and there as my schedule lets me. I'm mid-way through Season 2 right now and I'll probably finish through Season 3 by the time I head to the Right Coast for break (more on that later).

There's nothing wrong with watching the West Wing a lot - it's an excellent show, the best on television during its time - but I watch it a lot. I watched Seasons 3 and 4 after last Spring quarter, Seasons 1 and 2 after Winter quarter just before that. And it's not like I don't have other things to watch. Five seasons of Gilmore Girls, 3 of Ruroni Kenshin, one each of Fraggle Rock, Firefly, X and a host of movies besides...

It's weird, is all I'm saying.

I'm watching "Jason and the Argonauts" on SciFi right now, just killing time. I thought it'd be the old Harryhausen version, silly animatronics and all, but no; it's the new version from a few years back.

Orpheus just turned to Jason and said "if we turn out back on life, we do not honor the dead; we abandon them."

Orpheus. You know, the guy who was so lost over the death of his wife that he journeyed into hell to get her back and, when that didn't work, became sat still in the woods for months until drunk, naked women showed up and tore him limb from limb because he wouldn't party with them. And it's not like he couldn't have stopped them with a word or anything...

Yeah, Orpheus is a real poster boy for not turning your back on life...

Two whole fucking YEARS ago, I made a quip over here about hard, pipe-hittin' muppets. I brought up Pulp Fiction as cast from the Muppet Show.

Now, my joke has become strangely real.

I frighten even myself.

This being a production of Sad Kermit

Unfortunately, you'll have to go to their MySpace site to hear an absolutely haunting version of the Rainbow Connection, which they call "the Rainbow Disconnection." Actually, you could just link to the mp3 here. It's freaky what a key change and a shift to minor chords can do. I mean it: absolutely haunting